What is Simon Cowell worth? If I had to puzzle over this question for more than a minute, I’d probably decide that his worth is more about the amount I’m willing to pay him to shut the hell up than anything else. To me there’s nothing useful about the man. Yes he’s capable of being mean, why is that such a marketable skill? What he should be most famous for is rocking the world’s worst flat-top haircut for at least ten years. The guy’s so loudly critical of everyone else – why doesn’t a...

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