“Boy, oh Boy,” is Michael Jackson Pervy

Fellow pervites, Jean Claude Van Damn(!), Tommy Lee, and Billy Bob Thornton have company. The King of Pop is also the Queen of Perv and as such is now a perpetual member of the Noozler Perv Patrol. This isn't a newsflash – if it were, we wouldn't be getting around to covering it for a couple of weeks. No, the face-fading-fellow is beyond odd and venturing well past scary/creepy/yucky. It's a  fact that we all know; whether we elect to proclaim it or not.

Listen he can make our somewhat arthritic toes tap, tap, tap, just like everybody else's. Can this “Jackson One” (nobody even remembers the other four) groove? Hell, ya! We have multiple albums of his (yes, we're THAT old) in our basement. We aren't disputing his musical genius – obviously, neither are the multitudes of fans in London where all fifty of his freaken shows have just sold out. Nor are Paula Abdul, (and that broad that looks like her twin only taller, lispier and meaner), Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson, (no, not one of the original 5 -- but who's counting?). They all sung or (“thung” as the case may be) Jackson's praises during last week's idol performances (his songs were the night's theme).

We validate his artistic genius while pointing out his pervy genes, that's all. The latest addition to the performers pervy column is in the form of legal papers that depict a list of items of the “normal” artistic household goods the moonwalkin' man/boy/child had for auction on the infamously unnerving, Neverland.

The list, holding close to 3,000 items included “boy” bronze sculptures/artwork up the wazoo (no pun intended.). Such common artistic depictions as: as “two boys with ladder,” “boy with baton and hat – with feathers (of course).” Then there's the unforgettable, “boy milking goat,” “bronze boy carrying a fruit basket” (nope too obvious and easy – even for us), “two boys sitting on sunflower,” and everybody's all-time favorite: “boy sitting on bricks.” He's built himself one heck of a pervy collection there and believe you-us, there's loads more boy meets art gone wrong in the Neverland collection.
Yes, we admit that these could likely be unpervy in the right hands but we stand by the fact that they are most decidedly pervy in the sequined-gloved hands of the Q of P.
The kicker? How about a piece dutifully described in the list as, “child's upper body mannequin." No big deal? How about two of them? Cause that's how many he has. (We all know that one child's upper body mannequin is never enough.)
Can you feel the rumble of our shudder?