The Noozler Perv Patrol is not "Shia" about Striking Again

We once read that Andie McDowell and her hubby walked/sauntered/baked cookies, etc., nude at home in front of their children. Yes, naked as a jay bird (although we don't know why the saying hones in particularly on only the jaybird. It's not like the rest of the avian sect is flying around in teeny weeny jeans and t-shirts...)

Anyway, picture McDowell and man of the house nude with all those pieces and bits flying here and there -- along with cookie crumbs gone strangely missing off the couch, we imagine. Yes, at the time we thought that was a bit different, but if we recall correctly, the kids were very young and Andie McDowell looked like Andie McDowell, (aka, not like us) and we doubted it would prove too traumatic at that point. We also were cool enough to realize we were ?square? and we took that under consideration. The fact that we actually thought of and used the word "square" shows how old we really are and how long ago this happened. Let's fast forward to today, shall we?

Shia LaBeouf (you know the dude whose name defies the spell checker) is not "shia" about his mommy playing, shall we say, "jaybird" during his childhood, he told Playboy Magazine. The broad was not only nude much of the time on the home front but had numerous female friends over that were butt-naked, too. We don't know if they ARRIVED nude or if they became nude once they entered the home but once inside, they were nude, all right.

This is not when Shia was at school, safely tucked away from the imminent peril of the flying boobs. Oh no, it is when Shia was there....and often, so were his little friends... What the hell did the little friend's mom's think when they came to pick up their little boys and saw a house filled with naked women, (aka "Goddess Group Time" we kid you not) smoking pot and drawing aura circles around each other?

Who WERE his parent's friends? Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall (you know, Monty's brother) and Yoko Ono? (Keep in mind that Shia is not forty-plus -- this wasn't the sixties, people).
We also learned with the interview he gave Playboy for the June 15th edition that holiday time meant pot time in the LaBewoulf household. Not pots as in pots of stew and soup; pot as in, Merry Christmas! Pass the reefer, (not wreath here) you little bugger.

You might think that we've covered the bases...and what's the big deal, Noozler?  So Shia saw his mom nude all the time? So what? So they smoked pot as a family in thanksgiving for the invention of weed, so what?!

So -- wait! There's more! We'll let Shia tell you firsthand: "Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother," says the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen movie star. "She's an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds."

Shia, Sheya, Shyhuh, that IS sicka, sicka, sicka. Welcome to the head of the line at the Noozler Perv Patrol.